Hopefully this is the first (and only)
time you get crabs.
They're taking over. They're everywhere. They're on your ties, your boxers, and occasionally on your shorts. I'm talking about little critters. Sea critters are the dominant species but little land critters are spotted too. A classy bro knows when the fuck to suit up. Such occasions usually call for a tie infested with little critters. Little critters create power moves. Girls see tiny black labs running after a ball in a repetitive pattern and immediately let out an, "aww!" When your new potential boss sees that you're wearing a sea critter tie he assumes you're into sailing so he invites you on his family's vacation on the cape (with his hot daughter (who will probably have the same "aww!" reaction to your little critter boxers)) Little critters are taking over and we should, by all means, let them. I'm hooked just like the mini Marlins on my tie.
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