Do I love country? Sadly, no. I'm too Northern for that. However, I do love Darius Rucker and all that is Hootie. If you don't, you're most likely a terrorist. Anyways, in one of his songs, Darius is explaining to "Be wary of a woman...". Thus, a few brief characteristics and nuances to watch out for in the female population while in college or if you're recently graduated:
-If you've been dating for only a month or so, and she starts talking about marriage or rings: BAIL.
-If all she watches is Disney movies and [cheesy] chick flicks. She will undoubtedly have: A. False pretenses about relationships B. Delusional standards for the male population. 3. Shitty taste in movies. (I'm all about Lion King, don't get me wrong. Shit was raw as a kid.)
-If she always says/posts shit like "I'm soooo fat" "Omg I should lay off the junk food" "Guys just never treat me right". She probably has confidence issues, attention whoring/compliment fishing issues,or a shitty attitude. Or some freakish chimera of all three.
-She has you pay for everything, all the time, every time. This is traversing past chivalry, and bounding into "she's using you, bro" territory.
-She has mostly guy friends, and not many girl friends at all. This most likely means she's a bitch, in some form or another. Or a sloot. (bitchy sloot?)
-She bounces from relationship to relationship frequently; always has a boyfriend. Sounds like commitment issues to me. Or she's a sloot.
-She has an awful laugh that resembles an adolescent seal being clubbed to death. She's hot? Whatever. Imagine listening to that seal dying every time you say something witty.
-There are three kinds of girls in one aspect: Girls who don't like sports, girls who pretend to like sports, and girls who like sports. Stray away from the first, gravitate towards the latter two. Preferably the last one.
-She only watches shows like 'Real Housewives', 'The Bachelor', and shows about dresses or whatever the fuck. She obviously has poor taste in television, and you'd probably want to commit suicide if you had to sit through that garbage on a regular basis.
-She doesn't drink beer. Get ready for Sloppy Susie. And higher than average bar tabs.
-If she's obsessed with Hello Kitty. Girl, you aren't an Asian twelve year old.
Brof, out.
