Let me ask you a question; did you go out last night? I’m sorry, that was the dumbest fucking question ever asked. OF COURSE you went out last night. I’m pretttttty sure even the Asian bio-chem-engineering-fucking-math-whatever majors went out last night. So why, why, why does the administration think that adding more Friday classes will ever change that?
I can see the real world logic behind their scheme but this is Miami University; this is not the real fucking world. When has having class ever stopped us from drinking? Have they ever seen uptown on a Tuesday night? I mean it’s a goddamn Tuesday and a solid majority of the student population gets ratchet. We’re the college that shows up to exams on green beer day drunk beyond reason and they think a seventy-five minute lecture will stop us from indulging? It’s actually kind of cute how they think that they can make a difference in student drinking.
Miami is a very proud university. We take our reputation seriously when it comes to both academics and partying. So if you make us work harder, we’ll absolutely play harder, too. I guaran-fucking-tee that next year students will rage just as hard, if not harder, just to fuck with the administration.
Freshman will be indoctrinated into a culture of caring EVEN LESS about Friday classes. So maybe students should thank the administration for engineering their college life so that they can handle the early morning hung-over march to class. They’ll be conditioned to become Power-Ragers, able to endure even the most boring Miami plan lecture after a night of jager bombs and whiskey.
I guess after all of our bitching and doubting, a thank you really is in order. So, thank you, Miami University, for pushing us to be the best partiers that we can be.