20 Things to Do Before You Graduate

1. Buy a case. Get your backpack. Grab some brothers and friends. Late one night, visit King Library, the Seal, Upham Arch, Bishop Woods, FSB, Cook, et al; slam a Natty each stop. The Campus Crawl, everyone.
2. Slam a GDI. Some are quite good and come with the added bonus of not dealing with her nagging SO-RAWR-ITY sisters.
3. Piss on your rival fraternity’s house.
4. Get a VIP card to Brick.
5. Does CJ’s still have Hot Pockets? I haven’t had one in awhile. Whatever. If they do, get one (and free food poisoning, too!)
6. Play intramurals drunk.
7. Slam an old flame.
8. Invest in a water balloon launcher. Proceed.
9. Go to class drunk.
10. Steal a Brick from High St. While some might consider it cheesy, it’ll be a nice reminder of Oxford when you are slaving away in a 9 to 5 next year.
11. Punch a townie.
12. Get punched by a townie. Sue. Congratulations, you now own a pickup truck!
13. Sneak your way through FSB and onto Roger’s rooftop deck. Legendary.
14. Play a few rounds of campus golf. Aim for bottom-tiers and geeds.
15. Poo Dollar.
16. Get a Beer Tower. Just fucking kidding.
17. Slam your rival fraternity’s sweetheart.
18. Pizza Hut Lunch Buffet. Vastly underrated.
19. Slam a freshman.
20. Don’t graduate.

-Sandy Brofax.