If my body is a temple then my ass is a throne. If you have ever been around campus when “natures called” than you probably have gone through the same painful agony I endure on a day to day basis.
Miami’s toilet paper is shitty. Where do they get this crap? I’m not even sure you can call it toilet paper. I don’t even think it’s one ply. It’s like that super thin tissue you use to wrap presents. And last time I checked no one’s was requesting that they get a wrapped fudge factory for their birthday.
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| There are a few acceptable instances when one should invest in quality: watches, cars, education and toilet paper. |
But seriously, even if I was lucky enough to fart bubbles and crap rainbows this toilet paper still wouldn’t even be able to do its job. So in order to get enough tissue to satisfactory do its intended job you have to use half the roll and fold it like its one Sadako’s paper cranes. Even after all that trouble you’re hit with a paradox. Now that you have sufficient supplies to do your job its time for moment of glory.
AHHHHHHHH SHITTTTTTT!!!!
Was that stuff made out of sandpaper? It just felt like the Brawny Paper Towel Man forcibly ripped off my stalls door and pillaged my hiney with his ultra absorbent 12 ply quilted specialty. My nether regions cry out in 1000 tiny sorrowful voices. I was just violated by compressed pulped wood.
If you ever find yourself in Miami’s bathrooms and you can hear gentle weeping coming from the stall it’s me and now you know why.
-Double Bro Seven
cracked me up!!!!
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