You're Killin' Me Smalls - New King Cafe Employees

This is straight inaccurate. Always more crowded than this picture.
Take off the rose colored glasses, Miami website. 

          It's the second day of school and I'm assuming only day two for the new employees of King Cafe. If they've been working there for any longer than two days then they are incompetent as shit. The line is always brutal but now you have to factor in the new kid being like, "A bag of chips? So I just...scan it?"  Ya bro, scan it, swipe the card and keep the line moving. Of course, there's the King Cafe mom who is there to coach and guide the young grashoppers while they learn the complicated ins and outs of a cash register. She's basically their cheerleader, "You'll get it next time. You're doing great." No, he's not doing fucking great because he tried to swipe that girl's card backwards. Twice. It's not the machine. It's you. 
          Then there's the freshmen who act like they've never ordered at Starbucks before. The menu is literally in front of your face. Plus, you've had the entire time you've been in line to figure out what you want and dig your lanyard out of your backpack, so mix in a little efficiency next time, some of us are more important than you. And if you're one of the ones who orders a super fucking complicated coffee with an Italian name you can barely pronounce with two shots of this shit, shaken not stirred, wait until the employees have mastered the fundamentals before throwing a 400 level coffee order at them. By the way, wrote this on my phone while waiting in the line. All I wanted was a Gatorade.