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| "Chug, Chug, Power Ragers!" |
Let
me ask you a question; did you go out last night? I’m sorry, that was the
dumbest fucking question ever asked. OF COURSE you went out last night. I’m
pretttttty sure even the Asian bio-chem-engineering-fucking-math-whatever
majors went out last night. So why, why, why does the administration think that
adding more Friday classes will ever change that?
I
can see the real world logic behind their scheme but this is Miami University;
this is not the real fucking world. When has having class ever stopped us from
drinking? Have they ever seen uptown on a Tuesday night? I mean it’s a goddamn
Tuesday and a solid majority of the student population gets ratchet. We’re the
college that shows up to exams on green beer day drunk beyond reason and they
think a seventy-five minute lecture will stop us from indulging? It’s actually
kind of cute how they think that they can make a difference in student
drinking.
Miami
is a very proud university. We take our reputation seriously when it comes to
both academics and partying. So if you make us work harder, we’ll absolutely play harder, too. I
guaran-fucking-tee that next year students will rage just as hard, if not
harder, just to fuck with the administration.
Freshman
will be indoctrinated into a culture of caring EVEN LESS about Friday classes. So
maybe students should thank the administration for engineering their college
life so that they can handle the early morning hung-over march to class. They’ll
be conditioned to become Power-Ragers, able to endure even the most boring Miami
plan lecture after a night of jager bombs and whiskey.
I
guess after all of our bitching and doubting, a thank you really is in order.
So, thank you, Miami University, for pushing us to be the best partiers that we
can be.
Cheers,
-DVB
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