This is a bittersweet goodbye, though. Saying bye to girls in white pants means welcoming girls in yoga pants. Saying adios to Corona and summer ales means cracking open Oktoberfests and Pumpkinheads. Girls go ape shit for fall, excuse me, Autumn, and making a chick’s day is easy (apple) pickins. Sure, we all have to put up with each other’s instagrams of dead leaves but I don’t care who you are, fall means pumpkin spice EVERYTHING and that’s good news.
Hard to find too much to complain about when football is in full swing, hockey is starting up (College hockey at least. Fuck you, Gary Bettman) and the number of guys wearing sandals is going down. Now I'm just waiting for someone to get injured because they thought jumping off a roof into a leaf pile was a good idea. "No, guys, I GOT THIS." -Don Vito Broleone
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| How many pictures EXACTLY like this will we see? Setting the over/under at 300
Sup betches, Don Vito covered pretty much everything for the bros. However, ladies, we have a few extra things we unfortunately have to say goodbye to during the fucking freezing winter months. First, say goodbye to using summer as an excuse to have shameless and/or meaningless summer flings. Say hello to boyfriend season. For those of us that choose this route, snag a man who isn't gonna suck to be with through Green Beer Day. Say goodbye to wine wednesdays with your girls because we'll either all be stuck shotgunning with our boys (not exactly complaining...yet) or big spooning a bottle of jack after a night as a fifth wheel at piano man.
But don't cry into your pumpkin spice latte just yet because you have a fucking pumpkin spice latte and that is nothing to ugly cry about. I won't even complain about the endless stream of Starbucks cups on my instagram feed because I am just as excited for those empty liquid calories. I don't wanna hear any of you bros complain about broads' overwhelming enthusiasm for autumn because you are all reaping the delicious benefits of our pumpkin and apple cider-centric baking compulsions.
My last complaint is about how the fuck to dress in this weather. I wake up with chattering teeth and bundle up like I'm a god damn eskimo and by the afternoon I've shed like three layers. My Tory Burch riding boots, Burberry scarf and J.Crew quilted vest were totes great decisions at 9 in the morning, but if it gets warmer during the day, there is def not enough room in my Vineyard Vines tote to lug that shit around (and I REFUSE to be "that bitch" who knocks into everyone in Dividends with her obnoxiously over-stuffed bag).
But whatever, I'm stoked for fall and all of it's bullshit. Summer, you will be missed but I have to move on. So farewell, bikinis. So long, slip’n’slides. Hello, Halloween. Bring on the beer jackets. -Lindsay Brohan
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