Rage-ology 101

          ATTENTION FRESHMEN! Here are two drinking games to play when boredom or procrastination strikes and to keep our great institution in the top 10 party schools in the nation. We’ll be bringing you a couple drinking games every week along with a drink or two to try when you hit the bars. Work hard, play harder.

Drinking Games of the Week

1) Thumper

          Start by gathering around a table that will fit you and all your friends. The sturdier the table, the better. You’re all about to pound on the table, so you don’t want your drink to fall off or spill everywhere. If you can’t find a table that doesn’t shake a lot and isn’t structurally horrible, you can just keep your drink on the floor, under the table, or behind you so you don’t kick anyone’s drink over. We all know there’s a special place in hell for people that waste alcohol.
         Everyone needs to come up with a good hand or body motion. The funnier, the better. A good pelvic thrust with a look of constipation on your face? Perfect. Rubbing your nipples while your tongue is hanging out? Even better. The goal of the game is to get someone to mess up while recreating your motion or trying to , causing them to drink.
         Ok, so now that you’ve come up with your motion, go around the table (doesn’t matter what direction) and show everyone your motion. Make sure you’re not just laughing at everyone’s motion and try to remember at least a handful of them, you’ll need to know at least one person’s so you don’t have to drink.
         Now the game begins, someone volunteers to begin and utters the magical Thumper words while everyone pounds on the table with their hands. The phrase is as follows:

Person starting: “WHAT’S THE NAME OF THE GAME?!" 

Everyone else: “THUMPER!” 

Person starting: “WHY DO WE PLAY IT?!" 

Everyone else: “TO GET FUCKED UP!” 

Person starting: “HOW FUCKED UP?!” 

Everyone else: “REAL FUCKED UP!”

         Now that that’s over, the person starting does his motion, followed by someone else’s, thus passing the motion to someone else. This person now has to do their motion, followed by someone else’s. If they fuck up, then they drink. It’s as simple as that. Keep going around the circle till someone messes up, and enjoy getting “REAL FUCKED UP!”

If you’re more of a visual learner, here’s a PG rated YouTube video of the game. I highly encourage the use of my Thumper chant though.

2) Bet Your Liver

         Feeling lucky? Try out Bet Your Liver. You’ll need a deck of cards and the biggest cup or pitcher you can find.
        Grab the biggest beer stein or pitcher you have, the bigger the better. Place the pitcher or whatever you chose in the middle of the table where you and all your friends are sitting. Next, take the deck of cards and spread them around the pitcher. Each person takes turn going around the table, betting an amount of beer by pouring the beer into the pitcher. After the person places their bet, they will either choose “Red” or “Black”. If the card is “Red” and they chose “Red” then they don’t have to drink and play moves to the next person. If they bet wrong though, they have to drink all the beer that’s in the pitcher. Play continues until someone bets wrong, and bets continue till the pitcher fills up. That’s why you want to have the biggest pitcher you can get a hold of.

         This game’s pretty easy to play and you can even play it at beat the clock as long as someone has a deck of cards and an empty pitcher. The empty pitcher should be the easiest part to find though.

Drinks of the Week

          We’ll give you guys a drink every week to branch out and try at any of the local watering holes.

Old Fashioned

         We’re starting off with a proper gentleman’s drink. This is the drink that a man like Don Draper would (and does) drink. Is it a little tedious to drink? Yeah. But does it taste delicious when you make the perfect one? You better fucking believe it. I’ve been on a mission to find the perfect one since I’ve been able to bar hop. Let me tell you folks, a good Old Fashioned is not something that is easy to find. If you’re feeling ballsy and want to try and make one for yourself, here’s a recipe to get you started. Feel free to modify it to taste, of course.

• 2 oz Bourbon: Use whatever you find tastes best.
• 2 dashes bitters
• 1 splash water
• 1 sugar cube
• 1 maraschino cherry
• 1 orange wedge

         Mix sugar, water and angostura bitters in an old-fashioned glass. Drop in a cherry and an orange wedge. Muddle into a paste using a muddler or the back end of a spoon. Pour in bourbon, fill with ice cubes, and stir.




Until Next Week,
The Big Lebroski